Variety is the Shizz of Life, Yoga, Food – VeganMoFo Day 10

Saṃskāras – yeah, baby, who doesn’t love a good pattern, a groove, a habit?  We all have them, don’t we?  And they are comforting, productive, efficient (sometimes).  They are also stifling, wasteful, constraining (sometimes).  Desire for habit vs. spontaneity is a dialectic that everyone faces.  We all want some degree of constancy and regularity (even if we said “I will never do something the same way twice” that would be a habit, eh?), but we also want the  unique moments of the unexpected.  While we want both, often – it seems to me – we are reluctant to let go of the habits, the grooves, the Saṃskāras, to open ourselves to the possibility of the variation.  We cling to the expected and the usual, managing to shut out any opportunity for growth.  This happens in all parts of our life and our interactions with others.  We cling to people, to objects, to events, to routines.  We believe that we can’t function (or live?) without them.  But, if we can practice a little aparigraha (non-attachment) in our lives, we open up to so much more.

Thinking about it in life, generally, we like for our relationships with others to stay, and to a large degree we also like them to stay the same.  That is not too shocking for our happy relationships, because we love the people we are in them with, and we don’t want that to shift.  But, what does this stop us from experiencing?  Would change necessarily be bad?  Might it be ultimately better for one or both of us?  We also draw our circles of loved ones around us tightly to maintain them.  Who are we keeping out that might enhance our lives?  If we allow for a little change, a little variety in who we spend our time with or how we enact our relationships, it may be good for everyone concerned.  As a parent, I can say that it’s easy to cling to my image of who I visualized my children becoming.  But, if I can’t do that, how will I ever see or enjoy who they might really become?

In yoga, this applies as well.  We can easily develop attachments to certain types of practice (“I ONLY do Bikram!”) or to teachers or to poses.  We create habits of how we come into poses, get out of them, and respond to them.  We attach to having music (or not or what type).  We attach to how the class should be run, how the other students should react, and even the space in which the class is held.  Whew! That’s a lot of clinging.  When I first started practicing yoga, I had 2 “virtual” instructors that I was willing to “take” a class with.  Everyone else made me antsy. And then, when I began practicing in a real studio, I also selected a couple of instructors and would only attend class with them.  If I walked in and saw a sub, I immediately felt upset about it.  Over time, as the desire to practice more forced me to branch out a little, I discovered that there were things that I could “get” from each instructor that I would have missed without the variation. Now, even though I still have my favorites, I am pleased to see a sub, because I know that bit of variation will do something good for me.  Similarly, I used to clench up when I heard, “this is a new pose for this class.”  But, now I like it, because even if the pose is too advanced or doesn’t suit my body, I’m likely to gain from the practice of it.

And as for food… same thing.  I know a lot of people who have dietary restrictions or a specific eating plan (like veganism) who handle them by coming up with a menu of acceptable items and having them constantly.  Thinking about veganism specifically, though it certainly applies to others as well, that’s useful at first, because it makes it easier to maintain the plan, but we pretty quickly become bored by having the same items over and over.  That can lead to lapses or to giving up.  Imagine how hard it would be to maintain a vegan diet if you only ate salads (I know, a lot of omnivores thing this IS a vegan diet).  It would be near impossible.  Even if you have a large amount of foods in your arsenal, it is good to branch out a little more now and then by reading other people’s recipes (VeganMoFo is great for this), trying new food items (Kelp! Beets!), or combining things in a way that you never have before.  Even getting up in the morning and having a “dinner” item for breakfast can shake up your dietary day enough to help prevent cravings that are mostly about your tastebuds wanting to be entertained.  There is a whole world of food out there that can nurture and care for our bodies – that means there is likely to be plenty of variation to keep our mouths and minds happy without sacrificing any nutritional philosophy that we are trying to observe.

None of this means that we have to give up all of our routines.  After all, that is the meaning of dialectics – the two halves require one another.  Routine is good and variety is good.  Too much routine (or too much clinging to that routine) can be oppressive and too much variety (or too much attachment to spontaneity) can cause anxiety.  But, either way, we can be more mindful of why we have that routine, where it could stand to be shaken up, where the spontaneity has become a routine, and what we stand to gain by allowing for change – by engaging in more aparigraha.

What in your life, in your practice, or in your veganism do you (or will you) do to provide the variety that you crave and the constancy that you need without clinging too much to either?

L

Touch is Vital – So Why is it Difficult?


Studies overwhelmingly show that touch is good for us, and is important. In comparisons of prematurely born babies in ICU, cared for with equal diligence, those who received more skin to skin contact fared better than those who did not. There are certainly many other examples as well. Of course, touch isn’t always good, as intent makes a difference and some touch is nicer than other. But, even within the categories of neutral or positive touch, we respond differently based on our own personal backgrounds and experiences.

As someone who grew up in a cultural setting (southern Indiana) and family setting where touch was not extremely frequent – with some exceptions, my grandmother was always hugging, kissing, and patting – and who has a background including some very negative touch experiences, I find touch to be a challenge. I’m fine with children and will happily hug or pat any child willing to be so treated. I’m fine with animals; in fact I probably drive them nuts. It’s other adults that prove to be an issue. Even with my own adult family members, including children, I have to mentally “exhale” in order to get myself relaxed during a hug or a kiss. And, I certainly want my family members to hug or kiss me, but the actual event produces some physical manifestations of stress that I have to get around.

If you are wondering why I’m talking about this here, it is because of the relationship of touch to yoga. While not all styles of yoga have physical adjustments as part of the student-teacher relationship, vinyasa yoga does. So, both as a student and as a teacher-in-training, I’ve been working on issues of touch. When I first began yoga classes in studio, I actively selected instructors who either did not touch at all or who I felt very comfortable with and therefore thought I could manage the touch. Later, as I got accustomed to being adjusted in poses, I was able to branch out a little, but I still have to do that mental exhalation each time. Now, I’m finding in teacher training that adjusting others is going to be a challenge for me. When I move in to do a physical adjustment, I immediately have a sense that I have violated both my space and the space of the person I am adjusting. This creates tension in me, and I don’t actually think I should be touching yoga practitioners when I’m tense, because that feeling may transfer to them and work against the goal of the practice.

I suspect that this will change over time, because I do believe that physical adjustment in yoga (specifically) and touch (generally) are valuable in many ways. It’s just another area where I’ll need to “adjust” my attitude.

If you have experiences being challenged by yoga adjustments – as a teacher or as a student – I would love to hear about them and about how you work with the issue.

Namaste,

L

Maintaining Balance – VeganMofo Day 5

The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.”
~Euripides

Image by Hans_S

Lovely words, but they refer to something that is not simple or easy – balance.  I am going to tell you right now, I’m not a superstar at balance.  It’s something that I have to work on and an area in which I often feel I have/am falling short.  So, this post is not (as most of my posts are not) written from a state of expertise, but of someone who is trying to figure it out myself and working through it in an ongoing process.

In my own life, there are three primary areas where I notice balance cropping up again and again over the last few years.  These are work/home life, relationship with food, and yoga.

The work/home element is probably the most thorny and its impacts on others most easily seen.  My job is fairly high stress.  It’s more than full time.  I am expected to be available pretty much continually for serious issues that arise.  This leads to me carrying a mobile phone with me at all times to receive emergency calls or crucial emails.  Wait.  Look back at that last line.  “Crucial emails” is what I said.  If something is so crucial that I need to respond to it immediately on a Sunday afternoon, why would it come in an email?  Why would it not be a phone call?  Yeah, I don’t know either.  But, I know that the line between crucial and somewhat important is very blurry.  I find that, because I’m always “on” email, the pressure to respond very quickly has actually increased.  I find myself answering emails while having an evening out, during a conversation with my spouse, and even from bed.  This isn’t very good work/home balance.  On the other hand, there are times when I’m at work and completely preoccupied with what I need to buy to fill school supply lists (maybe even shopping online), having a phone discussion with my spouse, or messaging with one of my kids.  This is also not so great.  For most of us, work is a necessity, but it also fulfills some of our non-fiscal needs for accomplishment, connection, impact, etc.  Even if we could, we might not want to let it go.  So, we have to continue to figure out how to balance these two realms of our lives, acknowledging that they cannot be kept completely distinct, but enacting each role to the fullest at the times where we are engaged in it.  Not easy.

With food, balance is also crucial.  Over the last 30 years of my life, I’ve been on any number of “diets” that restricted a particular category of food (or limited diet to one or two items), starting with the “Cabbage Soup Diet” in 1979.  Low carb, low fat, high carb, high fat, raw only, juice only, I’ve done it.  And none of these extremes have ever really “worked” for me.  Yes, I’ve lost a lot of weight over the years, but I’ve lost the same weight over and over.  And I’ve ended up a person with some serious food issues.  Now, I’m a vegan.  This may seem to some like a very extreme diet choice, but there are so many possibilities available for vegan eating  (see But What Can I Feed You?), that I don’t think so.  Even here, however, balance is needed.  Vegans need to be sure, like everyone else, to consume a diet balanced in the nutrients, fats, and carbohydrates that lead to a healthy body.  I even would say that some balance is needed in the overall enactment of veganism.  Activism is great, and there is a place for it.   But, lecturing a colleague who orders a turkey sandwich for lunch or railing at a vegetarian for not being vegan enough are unlikely to lead to anything but hostility and guilt – not so productive.  A balance between advocacy for a vegan lifestyle and acceptance of other choices should be practiced.

Image from YogaJournal

And last, yoga.  There is philosophical balance to be struck in yoga (How much practice is healthy and can it become an obsession?  What ideas/philosophies serve you and which do not?  What practice forms do I believe best and how can I still respect other forms?).  And then there is the physical issue of balance.  This too is a struggle for me, literally.  I find it difficult to balance.  I think I always have, but it seems to be getting worse.  Sometimes I can blame it on having RA and the pain associated.  For example, if my foot joints are inflamed, its very hard to maintain vrksasana (tree pose) because of the pain.  But, I often find myself falling over in poses that seem to not trouble most people – virabhadrasana (warrior 1), parivrtta trikonasana (revolved triangle), parivrtta parsvakonasana (revolved side angle), and so on.  Some days in class, I feel that I spend a lot of time teetering over toward one side or the other, and probably distracting the heck out of the people around me.  Is it age?  Is it having RA?  Is it the other balance issues I experience being embodied in my practice.  I don’t know.

Balance is a challenge, but if we can achieve more of it, we can better stretch and grow in all directions, without losing any part of our lives or becoming overly attached to others.  In what ways do you struggle with balance and how do you attempt to address it?

Namaste,

L