Category Archives: Yoga

Would You Please Stop Interrupting?

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A month or so ago, I had a bout of IBS.  After a few days of trying to just tough it out, eating the usual fruits and veggies – even though I wanted crackers and bananas more, I did some research about what I should be eating to calm the system down.  Interestingly, I found that the items I had felt like eating (crackers, bread, bananas, applesauce) were exactly what I needed to eat to get my system back on track.  Having been authorized by Google, I accepted that diet for a few weeks and now feel much better.

Last week, my body seemed to need a rest day from yoga, and I was not happy about it.  But, after arguing with myself, I took it.  And the next day my yoga practice went really well – I felt strong and good and the back pain I was having started to dissapate.

Toward the end of last week, a friend was worrying with me about why she wanted to eat so much (and mostly carbs) during the week before menstruation.  We did a little research and concluded that, between the drop in estrogen and the drop in serotonin that  seems to occur at that time, it makes utter sense to consume more complex carbs.

Then, yesterday (Sunday), I found myself totally exhausted at 10 a.m.  I was so tired my eyes were burning and I had to go lay down for an hour.  As usual, I was scolding myself about it, when it occurred to me that a similar thing had happened the previous Sunday, but I blamed it on going out Saturday night.  And, when I thought about it, the Sunday before had been the same way, and so on.  After pondering for a while, it finally struck me that I have been taking my weekly large dose of methotrexate on Saturday evening.  And what is a major side effect of MTX?  Fatigue.  Ohhh.

So, what’s the moral here?  I think it’s that sometimes, or often, our bodies know what they need and they try to tell us.  We just don’t always listen.  Toddlers get it.  They will sometimes go a day or three eating next to nothing.  And then suddenly eat 6 bananas in an afternoon.  And maybe the next day they only want green beans and chicken.  It drives parents insane.  We think our little dears are going to starve, but they don’t.  If we make healthy food available and let them make selections, they do pretty well.  They haven’t learned how to shut down that body voice yet.

Maybe we should take a page from the book of toddlers.  Eat when we are hungry (though we may have to think about what we are hungry for, because as adults we have hunger all mixed up with other things), nap when we are tired, smile when we are happy, cry when we are sad.  We probably shouldn’t bite anyone, but other than that it sounds not so bad.

What is your body trying to tell you?

When Rest is More Difficult than Activity

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Leaving yoga last weekend, my daughter, a relatively new practitioner, noted with pride that she had not taken a child’s pose “the whole practice.”  And she had not.  Hearing this, I was struck by multiple emotions simultaneously.  I felt proud of her commitment to this new activity and her willingness to dive right in to difficult poses.  I felt a little envious that her nice young joints and muscles had cooperated with her this way in her first real Vinyasa class.  And, I felt a little chagrined to realize that I had probably contributed to her belief that taking child’s pose during a practice was some sort of failure.  The moment passed and we went on with our day, but it came back to me with a vengeance today.

Sunday was devoted to celebrations and family time, so my yoga moment consisted of some mindful meditation.  Today, Monday, I realistically could have worked in a practice after I came home and made dinner for the family, but I didn’t.  I’m just plain tired and having some sciatica, and the house has been in a bit of an uproar – so, I didn’t.  And now I feel guilty and uneasy and as if I have “copped out” on my practice.  And, thinking about it, I know that I do not always (or even often) take a child’s pose in class that isn’t instructor led, and when I do, I feel a sense that I’m doing it wrong – even though my wonderful instructors always are sure to mention in each class that child’s pose is a good thing and a perfectly valid pose and not a failure in any way.

So, what’s the problem?  We (and by we, I guess I’m speaking for the entire U.S. and  a good portion of the industrialized world, so please pardon my complete presumptuousness) don’t do rest very well.  We are much much better at busy.  Busy busy busy.  Even when we are resting, we stay busy.  We watch TV, chat on the phone, text our friends, surf the internet, write emails, jot notes, scrapbook, crochet, shop.  We can’t make it through 10 minutes of waiting at the doctor’s office without picking up a magazine or checking our work emails.  We seem to have a constant underlying feeling that we shouldn’t be “wasting” time; we have to DO something with it.

But, how can we waste our own time?  It’s our time.  We cannot store it away for later; we are always “using” the time – regardless of what we do in any given moment.  And, fundamentally, my moments are only mine.  Yes, my actions are part of the interconnected stream that is the living world, but my individual moments of behavior and being in my body are mine.  There is not some larger goal that I have to meet in this lifetime – no minimum number of emails that must be sent, no particular amount of books that must be read, no afghans that have to be crocheted for the good of humanity.  Our time can be wasted only if we mindlessly and thoughtlessly engage in behavior that does not -in any way- serve us.  Sometimes it serves us to surf the web and text with our friends.  But, sometimes we do it almost as a reflex action as part of our urge to stay busy busy busy.  Does this serve us?

Look at your dog.  If you don’t have a dog, run down the block and look at your neighbor’s dog.  Go ahead, I’ll wait – I have time.

Ok, so what was that dog doing?  Chances are pretty good that he or she was resting.  Not texting or surfing the web (unless you have a VERY talented dog).  Not reading the stock report or looking in the mirror for his latest wrinkle – just resting.  And, don’t we all envy the dog (or the cat) sometimes for that ability to just sink into a rest in the blink of an eye?  Yet, though we envy it in them, we find it so hard to do for ourselves.

I don’t know how to fix this culturally – though I’m pretty sure that we aren’t headed in that direction (do you remember nap time in kindergarten? – they don’t have that any more – too much to do).  Maybe we need to teach children, and adults, Balasana and schedule it into our days until we get accustomed to recognizing what it feels like and how to stop resisting it.  As for me, I guess it’s just one day at a time, one rest at a time, one moment at a time.  And for you, just remember that even on Gilligan’s Island there was “the rest.” (ooohhhh)

Not a Problem, an Opportunity

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We all get angry sometimes.  That’s just a natural part of being human (or maybe just of being).  And, I suspect – unless I’m the odd one out here – that we all have people who push our buttons and make us feel irritable and frustrated pretty much constantly.  You know the people – the ones you cannot maintain a nice nonverbal comportment with… the ones you are always wondering what their bad motivation is this time… the ones who seem to just do whatever they can to get in your way.  Uh huh… them.

Well, lately, pretty much all of my meditation has involved mantras/mindfulness regarding patience.  I know this is something I need and want more of in my life.  I need to be more patient with myself, and I need to be more patient with others.  It’s helping, some, but I’ve got a long long (did I mention it was long?) way to go to really be the person I want to be – to be the person who can maintain equanimity, even in the face of my own shortcomings or the shortcomings of others.  I want to be someone who doesn’t feel the need to question the motives of others – just accepts their actions.  I want to be the person who is less snarky, less hard on myself, less easy to anger, less easy to be hurt.  Wow.  It’s a task.

So, this week, I have been working on rethinking the way I frame my experience with my regular “button pushers.”  I know who they are, so that part is pretty easy.  Now I am trying to recondition my response to them – to not view their approach as a challenge, causing me to tense up my muscles and my mind.  Instead, I’m working on thinking of these people as an opportunity.  They are an opportunity to exercise patience and equanimity.  They are a chance to respond to someone else with enough peace that it seeps over into their being and creates more serenity and calm for them as well (and this is good, because the people who tend to wind me up are people who see almost everything and everyone as “against” them).  It’s a win-win.

It’s working pretty well so far, but it’s certainly not easy and requires continual reminders to myself.  But, if I can make it work, imagine how good it will be for my inner peace!