Category Archives: YIOM

Sex Sells

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Two weeks ago, I spent a session of my Intro to Communication Studies course analyzing with my students the front page of CNN.  As we perused the offerings on the front page, examining the article titles, their relationships to one another, use of font and pictures, etc., one of the things that the students noticed very quickly was the frequency of items related to sex.  In a time when there is war, poverty, national disaster, financial crisis, and so on in large scale around the world, the vast majority of headlines on the page were related to sex, popular culture stars, and the combination thereof.  Students were simultaneously appalled and chagrined, as they noted that its horrible that this is how we think of news, but at the same time that they are as likely as anyone to read articles with such titillating headlines.

It’s easy to think that yoga news would be immune from this, but in reading many many blogs over the last couple of years, I would say that this isn’t the case.  Yoga blog posts that appear to get the largest readership and comments are those that are either designed to provoke controversy among yogis or are somehow connected to sex.  Posts promise better sex through yoga, detail the sexual behavior of various yogis, debate the extent to which yoga will give one a “hot bod” or “yoga butt,” contain mildly or extremely explicit photographs (typically involving young women in some state of undress… often apparently engaging in a style of partner yoga).  And this all while we protest that others misunderstand yoga and think of it as being either stretching, a new age cult, or some sort of sex club.  Hmmm…

Sexuality is certainly an important part of our humanity, but how does the use of sex to “sell” our yoga news connect to the yama of brahmacharya?  Does it?  Is there sexual restraint in this reveling in the sexuality of yoga?  Is there something mutually uplifting about the gaze of the viewer on images of yoga bodies in sexual dress?  Does any of this matter?  I guess I don’t know.  The people involved are all, apparently, adults, and no one is being forced to read.  But, it’s certainly worth thinking about what the message is and whether it is what we want it to be.

What do you think?

p.s. I tried to find a cute cartoon to add to this post, but they were all a little too sexy!

Practice and All Is Coming

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Sri K. Pattabhi Jois once said, “Practice and all is coming.”  We can apply this idea to yoga practice, to working for non-profits, to our jobs, and to our relationships.  The point here is that we need not worry about the outcome.  If we just do our practice, wholeheartedly, what will come will come and we have done our parts.   Given that non-attachment brings us closer to our natural state of bliss or enlightenment, that effort to simply practice, regardless of the concrete outcomes of the practice, brings us closer to our true selves.

Today, I was reminded of this as I participated in a 90 minute vinyasa practice, led by one of my fellow teacher trainees, and then taught my 90 minute practice session.  Looking at these two experiences from the perspective of the immediate, neither was everything I might have hoped it would be.  Katie’s class was great, but the ongoing problem that I’m having in my right arm made some of my poses feel sloppy and/or uncomfortable.  And then, in the practice I led, I learned that I am not ready to teach immediately after taking a class.  My head was in the “follower” space instead of the “leader” space and I felt pretty discombobulated. I also realized that I would rather have more pages of notes with bigger words, or less words on the page but bigger – basically, I need to be able to see my notes without my old lady glasses on 🙂

And yet, even with these problems, I’m glad I came to the mat.  I am glad that I did my practice.  Because the practice itself is good for me, and so is being in these moments where my expectations and reality are clashing a little and needing to push myself into letting go of the expectations.  It’s all a practice –  all of it.

Namaste,

L

Got Me? – Asmita in the Age of Accomplishment

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So, as I have mentioned, I spent the past few days at an academic conference in my field.  These conferences are always an odd experience for me.  I wouldn’t say that are bad, because I enjoy the things I learn, the time spent with friends and colleagues I don’t get to see much, and often (though not this time) exploring whatever city I’m in.  But, they are odd because they bring up a wash of not-so-pleasant self-evaluations every time.

Even though I don’t logically really expect or want a lot of attention, at conferences I always find myself feeling a little disappointed or ashamed that I have not accomplished more with my career.  It’s funny, because some people would probably say that I’ve done plenty.  Yet, in those moments, I feel like I should have researched harder, published more, made more of a name for myself, struggled more diligently to rise in the leadership of the organizations, etc.

It would be tempting to say that this is about career, but that is not true.  I get the same way about other things.  I have a favorite band that I adore.  In the past decade, I’ve seen many shows and even gotten to see several shows on one tour in the front few rows.  Eventually, I started to feel that I had to be close to the front.  And then, someone in the band acknowledged my presence and that became the new standard of a “good show.”  Over time, even that didn’t feel like enough.  What did I really want?  To meet the band?  To have my picture taken with them?  I don’t know.  Again, logic tells me that I’m not going to suddenly be their very best friend, and I’m not even sure that I want to.  But that vague sense of needing to do/be more crept in and started to rob each concert experience of the joy in the moment.  I had to take a step back from my attendance at shows and following the band’s progress to shake myself out of it.

I don’t think I’m the only one that gets like this.  It can happen in work, in family life, or even in “leisure activities.”  It’s easy enough to lose track of the general benefits of yoga, running, swimming, playing music, and get overly involved in the winning or recognition.  I’ve seen it in others, and I’ve seen it in myself.  Certainly in blogging, the competitive and recognition driven “me” can rise to the surface extremely easily.

Thinking about how this manifests itself in my own behavior and the behavior of those around me makes me wonder… Do we, as a culture, encourage this focus on recognition by the way that we interact and raise children?  Does the giving of awards for everything from finger painting skill to being on the t-ball team to “most improved science student” create people who have trouble being satisfied with where they are but instead yearn for the 15 minutes (or 15 months?) of fame that we think we are due?

Perhaps the way to change this is to put our focus, from childhood on, onto the experience itself, rather than the external outcomes.  Maybe we can’t completely get away from the desire for external motivators, but at least we might be able to reduce the stifling of the intrinsic value of our actions, and of our being.

Meanwhile, I may never be the band’s best friend, the foremost scholar in my field, a yogi rockstar, or the biggest vegan/yoga blogger evah, but my life is pretty darn great and I’m going to try to keep myself in a headspace where I can remember that!

Namaste,

L