It’s Not You, It’s Your Body – What Some Yoga Teachers Won’t Tell You

When I first started to do yoga, using CDs that I purchased on Amazon.com, I remember seeing headstand and thinking, I will NEVER be able to do that. And then I kept going, and I went to yoga classes, and I heard/read that if I kept practicing, any yoga pose was possible. And within a year, I was doing headstand. It was true!

Fast forward 15 years and I still cannot do Utthita Parsva Hastasana (among a myriad of other poses) with a straight leg, like this:

Image from Yoga Journal

Is it because I haven’t tried? Because I’m lazy? I didn’t practice enough? Nope. It’s anatomy. Think about all of the parts of the body involved in this pose. In terms of musculature, we have all of this:

Image from Yoga Anatomy by Leslie Kaminoff

And, that doesn’t even include the bone and joint activity involved in the hip! Yoga poses often include stretching of muscles, but they also include compression. Stretching can be gradually and slowly impacted with regular practice, but compression (or bone on bone movement) will not change without serious injury. This article, by Esther Ekhart, does a good job of discussing this difference – https://www.ekhartyoga.com/articles/anatomy/tension-versus-compression-in-yoga.

While regular practice of this pose gets me closer, I have generally accepted that my body is probably not going to do this without creating a whole new set of problems. The literal shape of my femur bone may be what makes this pose so challenging and that I cannot change. Check out some of the bone images from Paul Grilley at http://paulgrilley.com/bone-photos/ and you’ll see what I mean.

Similarly, you’ve probably seen some people who can easily fold forward and touch the floor and others who just cannot. Many things are involved there, but one of them is the literal length of the bones in arms and legs. You cannot change that. It’s just how your body is made.

If you are in class with a good yoga teacher, you will hear things like “don’t push past your limits,” and “your pose doesn’t have to look like someone else’s.” Your instructor might adjust you for safety or alignment, but it will be in small amounts and the teacher will never push you into a pose. If your teacher is insisting that everyone should look the same and that anyone can do X, that might not be the right teacher for you. If it’s not the teacher, but your brain, it’s time to let that go. If a pose feels stretchy in a good way, go for it. If it hurts, stop. Don’t force your body into pain. That’s not yoga, it’s just pain, and it’s certainly not ahimsa.

It’s your practice. It’s yours and yours alone. Don’t do anyone else’s or try to be anyone else. You don’t need a “yoga body.” You need the willingness to step onto a mat, come into yourself, and focus on the union of breath, body, and mind, using asana to help you with that. And that’s all you need.

Namaste!


Yoga from the Third Eye Chakra: Or Trusting My Intuition

third-eye-chakraAs you have probably noticed, things have been pretty quiet around here. Over the last year, I was enmeshed in several projects on the work and home fronts that slowed down my blogging and refocused my attention. In the month of June, I spent a lot of time packing and preparing to end a job at a place I had worked for 18 years. And then on July 1, I started a new position that involves working away from home for much of the week. This has cut down on my cooking and, when I do cook (I batch cook on the weekends), I’m in a hurry to get it all done and don’t take pretty pictures. Eventually, I’ll probably post my batch cooking plans, but for now it’s been a bit of a drought of blogging.

To be honest, I don’t anticipate the blogging rate picking up much while I’m getting into the swing of a new job, but I thought I would share a little bit about where I am with my yoga practice at the moment.

With several health issues, including a major surgery, a severe infection (related to the major surgery), a fall down a flight of stairs resulting in a broken tailbone, and a plethora of RA flares, my practice really waned in the last two years. It never completely left, but it wasn’t very present either. As I relocated, and had a little space with no one in it but me and a cat, the possibility of leaving a yoga mat front and center at all times seemed to make it more possible to get in a regular practice.

Five plus weeks later, I find myself practicing at least 5 days a week, sometimes more, for at least 40 minutes a day. Whee! I started out doing a very traditional vinyasa/ashtanga surya namaskara a & b pattern, followed by a planned set of poses that I had often used in my vinyasa classes or been led through in classes I attended. After a week or so of this, I gradually let go more of that pattern and began to really tune in to what my body needed in any particular moment.

At this point, I’m calling this “intuition yoga” when I think about it. If I get on the mat and I need sun salutations to warm up the muscles and get the joints lubricated, that’s what I do. But, if my joints are very painful, I’ll opt for an easier flow followed by more static poses. If the front of my body feels really tight, I focus on opening it up. If I’ve accidentally slept on my back and wake up with horrible tailbone pain, I do very gradual standing forward folds that take the muscles surrounding that area to the edge and stretch them gently, but never move beyond. Because of the sacral pain, I’m rarely doing seated folds, even the ones I enjoy (like janu sirsasana) because I know my body will pay me back for that momentary pleasure with hours of spasms.

Doing yoga this way is working well for me right now. I have seen my practice change so much in the last 8+ years of serious yoga focus that I know it will likely shift again, but if feels good to know where I am and what is working for me and notice the positive impacts on my body and mind as I move through my day.

Do you follow your intuition in your practice, or are you more of a “by the book” kind of yogi right now?

 

Being Not Ok With It – or – Where Is My Equanimity?

Long time readers, if there are any of you left, have probably noticed my horrible lack of posting, and that almost no posts about yoga have happened for months (there have been a lot of posts about cookies, though, so that counts for something). The reason for my yoga silence is that I’m not in a good place in my own practice, and I don’t know what to say.

Starting in the spring, some medical problems beyond my usual rheumatoid arthritis began happening. They included a significant amount of pain and pretty much ground my asana practice to a halt. At the end of May, this culminated in surgery, and then almost 10 weeks of no-yoga restrictions.

By the end of the imposed restrictions, I had very little stamina and still had a good amount of discomfort, plus the surgical after-effects that had boosted the arthritis into high gear. But, I started slowly back into my practice.

And here we are in November. I expected that my practice would be fully back on track now, but it is not. I had to eliminate a major part of my RA medications after surgery due to some liver issues (yes, I am a mess, thanks for asking), so the arthritis won’t calm down and most weeks, there is one or more parts of my body that just won’t cooperate. This has been compounded by daily headaches – maybe sinus, maybe migraine, maybe cluster, maybe gremlins – that I often have at this time of year, but that have been particularly bad and hard to deal with on top of the RA pain.

And, even the act of writing this makes me feel like a crazy woman. When I go to practice and have to sit out poses again, I am sure I look lazy or like a hypochondriac. When I realize that I haven’t attempted wheel, and only rarely inversions, in months, I wonder if I am lazy or a hypochondriac. When I don’t go to practice because something hurts, I am sure I AM lazy or a hypochondriac.

This morning, I got up with a nasty headache. It hurt to open my eyes or breathe. Yoga class was right out. But, it was a class that I really really wanted to go to – the last class in the studio that has been my yoga home for as long as I’ve been doing yoga. I’m so very sad right now to have missed it. I feel like I let myself, my yoga mentor, and my community down.

I know that yoga isn’t just about asana. I know that practice doesn’t have to happen in a vigorous class. I know that I should let go of attachment to a certain schedule or particular poses. I do. I say these things often to students in my gentle class (and I’m not even going to go into my feelings about not deserving to teach when my own practice is such a mess). I know them, but I’m having much trouble feeling them.

I can’t find my equanimity about this. It’s in there, somewhere. But, I can’t access it.

So, yeah, I don’t have a big point to make here. I guess I am writing this partly because I’ve spoken to many people over the years who say that they can’t seem to get started in a yoga practice, or can’t seem to maintain one, or are so busy fighting their body demons that they can’t find the space for it. And, they look at me with guilt and shame in their eyes when they say it. But, they don’t have to – if it’s you, you don’t have to – because I understand.

I’m writing this partly to also explain why the blog has been quiet and focused on, well, cookies. I’m a little too mired down in my own yoga funk to have much good that I can add to anyone else’s contemplation of yoga. So, if you have hung in there waiting to read something interesting about yoga, I still hope it will be back, but I don’t know when. And, I thank you.

Namaste,

Lorin