Tag Archives: Veganism

No Cult, No Anorexia, No Cancer – Just A Bald Vegan

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I explain myself a lot.  It’s my own fault, I realize.  I’m sort of thin.  I’m bald(ish).  I have tattoos.  And (AND), I eat a vegan diet.  It’s quite a combo.

Some of the explaining is just due to my appearance.  I get a lot of people assuming that I’m significantly ill (usually the assumption is cancer).  I get a lot assuming that I’m very anorectic (yes, I would say that I have an ED, but it’s relatively under control – I’m just this size).  I get a few (Grandma, you were such a cutie) assuming that I’m in a cult.  And I get some assuming I’m either a Buddhist or Jainist nun.  There is also something going on where, apparently, in some culture(s) this hairstyle means you are, uh, available for sale.  So, I get some odd looks/offers.

Once people notice the diet, on top of the appearance, I get quite a bit of questions about what I eat (Do you eat fish?  No, I’m a vegan.  How about clams?  No.  Scallops? Sigh.) and why I eat it (Is it because you are sick?  Did your doctor tell you to do this?).  And, I get knowing looks of people who see my shape and my plate and assume that it’s all some sort of weird obsessive eating disordered behavior.  Because, after all, why would anyone voluntarily choose that diet?

So, clearly, some of this is rather particular to me.  I’m guessing that the number of 45 year old female, bald, tattooed, vegan professors in the U.S. is small.  But, some of it is about how much assuming we do about people based on things like how they look and what they eat.   We are all guilty of it.  And why do we do this?  One reason is cognitive. The world is full of infinite stimuli.  We encounter so many different “things” in each moment of each day that we can only make sense of the world by categorizing.  We start with broad categories like “people,”  “dog,”  “boy.”  Then, in order to respond to units in those categories that we have little direct experience with, we create subcategories based on what we believe are connected traits.  That’s where it starts to get tricky, because the more we do that, the more likely we are to go wrong.

When you meet a person, you know you can say “Hi, I’m ____.  It’s nice to meet you.”  You know you can comment on the weather or on an event that is happening in the area where you both are.  So far, so good.  Maybe you find out another thing about someone, for example that he is a college student.  So, on the assumption that most college students have a major, you feel pretty safe saying, “What are you studying?”  When it goes wrong is when we create more complex connections.  Bald + thin = cancer.  Tattooed + young + punk band t-shirt = angry dirty mean dangerous punk.  Big family + female = conservative and religious.  Bald + thin + vegan = religious belief X.     When we head down that road, we not only make assumptions about people that are not true (possibly offending them greatly), we also prevent ourselves from really getting to know the individual, because we stop attending to the other characteristics and behaviors and only focus on those that confirm our belief.

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. ~ Lemony Snicket

I’ve talked to people who assert that all vegans are jackasses about their dietary choice, are rude to omnivores, and are fundamentally unhealthy.  That’s a lot of assumption to push past to have a real conversation.   Sure, some vegans are all of those things.  Some are none.  Just like with any individual characteristic, those who possess it are as different from each other as they are from others who do not have that characteristic.

Working on not making such assumptions is tough, because our mind wants to do it.  But, if we can go beyond it, we open up the opportunity to better communication with those around us, a deeper understanding of the diversity of experience, and an easier time achieving peaceful community (of all scales) relationships.  And, what is wrong with that?  So, the next time you see a bald, sort of thin, tattooed vegan, or a young, conservatively dressed, mom of 5, set aside your assumptions and get to know her.  You might be surprised.

Namaste,

Lorin

On Vegan Parenting – So Many Options

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Parenting is a challenge.  If anyone has ever told you that it isn’t, then he/she was either delusional or a liar.  There are so many decisions to be made, and few of them are simple.   It starts even before birth, when choices about prenatal testing, natural childbirth, labor anesthesia, circumcision, and breastfeeding are just a few of the issues faced by parents.  Once the child is born, the list continues to grow (cloth or disposable, co-sleep or not, stroller or babywrap,  immunize or don’t) and becomes even more complex.

As food is a rather vital part of living (if you want to continue doing that), choices eventually must be made about what/how to feed little junior.  For the vegan parent, this means electing whether to raise the child as vegan, vegetarian, or omnivore.

This choice is more complicated than it may seem on the surface.  Pediatricians and family members will want to weigh in on the decision.  If the parents have a similar diet, they might more easily select to raise baby in that same way.  But, if they have dietary differences (vegetarian and vegan, vegan and omnivore, etc.), there might need to be some negotiation.  Presence of older children in the home, and what sort of diet they  have, is also an issue.  And then childcare must be considered.  If the baby will be regularly cared for by a relative, friend, or paid carer with a very different diet, that might be an issue.

In the VeganAsana household, 4 of the six children arrived pre-vegetarianism.  2 arrived post-vegetarian, but pre-vegan.  Mr. VA is an omnivore.  So, all of our children have been presented with an omnivore diet, with a heavy emphasis on vegetarian and vegan options and meals.  In a week of dinners, I cook more than half vegetarian/vegan and the remainder omni.

This option, along with ongoing education about nutrition, the farm industry, and the origins of food items, has allowed our children to make their own decisions about diet.  At this point, two are vegans, one is a vegetarian, and three are omnivores.  It has worked fine for us.  I can’t say that I would be sad if I never had to prepare another non-vegan food dish, but until the time when everyone in the house is old enough to cook for him/herself, I will keep doing it.  I also wouldn’t say that it’s the “best” way to handle things, but in a mixed diet marriage, it is a reasonable option.

Judgment and Acceptance in the Vegan Community – VeganMoFo 28

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We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
~ Paulo Coelho

To judge others is, to a large degree, inevitable.  As humans, we make decisions about how to respond to those around us by evaluating their behavior and even their motives, and then responding accordingly.  However, there is, I believe, a qualitative difference in the types of judgments we make.  Sometimes we are making judgments of others based on how their actions specifically and directly impact us, or based on what they have told us of their motives.  Other times, we are making judgments of others based on our standards of right/wrong and good/bad behavior.  Again, this is probably just our humanness in action.  But, I think most of us would agree that there are some things we need to not judge others about – things that involve personal choices and personal moralities.  And, there are other instances where we may have a good reason to feel a particular judgment, but that does not mean that we must say it, because in the saying we accomplish little but diminishing the person who we have judged and there isn’t much value in that.

Lately, I have noticed a significant amount of judging going on in the vegan community.  This has been interesting for me, because before I was much engaged in social media, I had never encountered a vegan who was harsh in his/her outward critique of omnivores or vegetarians, and I was flummoxed when the omnis around me would mention such behavior.  I only knew vegans who were committed to their own choice and willing to help others work toward it if they so desired.  But, now I’m starting to get what they were talking about.

I became vegan because it was the right choice for me, and because others (in books, in life, online) had offered me persuasive, but not accusatory, information about non-meat animal products.  I’m happy that I made this choice.  But, I’m not as sure that I would have done it in response to someone berating me for not being vegetarian enough or telling me that I might as well eat meat if I wasn’t going to be all vegan. I suspect I would have closed up (out of anger, and probably some guilt) and not even considered veganism as an option.

It seems to me that there is little value in browbeating other vegans or vegetarians in public settings for not embodying the principles or philosophies of veganism in exactly the way that we hope/think that they should.  Even if one believes that the ultimate goal should be no utilization of animals for anything ever, isn’t it better if an individual is moving in that direction than if he/she gets shut down in the path by public humiliation?

My opinion, and it is only mine but it does and will inform the choices I make online, is that the best thing we can do, as vegans, is to keep the information flowing and support one another in the process, regardless of where we might be in it.  So, while I’m not going to eat an egg now and then as a treat, I’m not going to reject or scold someone who does, and I’m not going to dissociate myself from someone just because he/she has “imperfections.”   If I selected my friends and associates based on their degree of perfect adherence to my moral compass, I think I would be rather lonely.

There are certainly plenty of things that we can do to be active in promoting a vegan cause that don’t involve belittling others in a way that ultimately may work against our ends.  For me, the primary effort is in providing information, whether that be online or in face-to-face encounters, and giving support.  For someone else, that may be working for a vegan community group or starting a vegan restaurant.   It could be working for animal rescue or against corporate farming.   But, whatever we do, there have to be compatible ways that we can also offer acceptance and support to those working in the same direction that we are, even if they aren’t moving as fast or in the same way.