So, a little bit ago, I posted that I had a really bad time leading a step back flow (which is kind of a variation on a classical surya namaskara but with asta pranam) instead, where I just forgot everything that I ever knew about yoga, it seemed. In the last couple of weeks since that experience, I have spent a lot of time practicing step back flow, surya namaskara A, and surya namaskara B. I practice them on my mat, in my car, in the shower, on breaks at work, and before I fall asleep. I’ve been going through them a whole bunch.
Yesterday in teacher training was my first chance to really put it into action, so I volunteered to take the first step back flow. And, it went pretty well! Yay! It wasn’t perfect, at some point I think I muttered “wait, what am I saying?” But, for the most part, I remembered the poses well enough to not have to really think about them and was able to concentrate more on what people were doing and trying to match my pace to the group.
I did notice a new element to consider, that I had not before. I’m weirdly unsure of what to do with myself if I’m not demonstrating 
or adjusting. I’m working on not always needing to be doing the flows myself to teach them, so yesterday I did not flow along with the class. I did, however, stay on my mat. Having nothing to “do,” and not holding anything in my hands to read, I noticed that I didn’t have a clue what to do with my hands. So, I think that my next project is to begin to move off of the mat, even if I’m not adjusting, or utilizing more hand gestures to try to suggest the flow. Obviously, students won’t be looking at me very often, so it’s more of an issue for me than them, but I tend to be a major gesturer when I speak and just standing still feels awkward. Extra awkward I do not need!
So little to do, so much time. Strike that! Reverse it!
Namaste,
L
** Images from RealAge.com page about Sun Salutations
